I have more ways to meet someone than any generation before me.

At least that’s what I’m told.

I can open an app and see hundreds of people within a few miles. I can filter by age, location, interests, education, religion, height and almost anything else that supposedly matters.

Finding someone should be easier than ever.

So why does dating feel so exhausting?

I’ve used dating apps on and off for years.

At first, they were exciting.

You match with someone. You exchange a few messages. Maybe you meet for coffee or dinner. Sometimes there’s chemistry. Usually there isn’t.

Then you go home, open the app again and start over.

Swipe.

Match.

Message.

Repeat.

Eventually, people begin to feel less like people and more like profiles.

And I think that’s where something has gone wrong.

When you know there are another hundred potential matches waiting on your phone, it’s easy to wonder whether the person sitting across from you is really the best choice.

Maybe someone funnier is three swipes away.

Maybe someone more attractive will match tomorrow.

Maybe there’s always something better.

But what if there isn’t?

I’ve watched perfectly promising relationships disappear because one person wasn’t immediately certain.

There was no dramatic argument. Nobody did anything terrible.

Someone simply decided to keep looking.

I’ve probably done it too.

That’s the uncomfortable part.

It’s easy to blame dating apps, but we’re the ones using them.

We’ve become very good at finding reasons not to choose someone.

He texts too much.

He doesn’t text enough.

She seems too interested.

She doesn’t seem interested enough.

The first date wasn’t amazing.

The conversation wasn’t perfect.

Next.

Real relationships were never supposed to work like online shopping.

People take time to understand. Attraction can grow. Trust definitely takes time.

But dating apps train us to make decisions in seconds.

I’m not giving up on them.

People meet wonderful partners online every day, and I still believe I could too.

I just think having unlimited choices has created a strange problem.

We have more opportunities to meet each other than ever before, but perhaps less patience to actually know each other.

Maybe finding love isn’t about having more choices.

Maybe it’s about finally choosing someone long enough to discover who they really are.

 

Translate to Choose language Bosanski English Deutsch Türkçe العربية Español Français Italiano Nederlands Svenska Norsk Dansk Hrvatski Srpski Shqip Translate